THE SERPENT'S CUPCAKES - a recipe by Sarina Liri

THE SERPENT'S CUPCAKES

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by Sarina Liri

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It's a satanic twist on an old party favorite! My stupendously dotty great-aunt, Jennifer Kleven, claimed to have served these during Anton LaVey's first Magic Circle gatherings in the mid-sixties. Several relatives have since confirmed that Jen (now deceased) was indeed romantically linked at the time to LaVey's personal tailor, Harris Burton, though no evidence beyond an autographed copy of The Satanic Bible ever emerged to verify her involvement with the Church of Satan. All the same, Jen insisted that these cupcakes grew increasingly popular with LaVey's disciples, eventually becoming a fixture at Satanic wedding receptions as well as wakes and purification ceremonies. Among the devil-worshipers, as Jen never tired of jovially reminding our (otherwise traditional) Roman Catholic family, these cupcakes "were bigger than Jesus."

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INGREDIENTS for MEATLOAF CUPCAKES

1 lb. / ground beef

1 lb. / ground pork

1 cup / chopped fresh basil

2 cups / panko bread crumbs

2 / eggs

2 cloves / minced garlic

1 / diced small onion

1 cup / milk

24 thin slices / prosciutto

1/2 lb. / bleu cheese

1 tsp. / salt

INGREDIENTS for CANDIED SWEET POTATO PUREE

4 tbsp. / butter

2 tbsp. / dark brown sugar

2 / sweet potatoes, skinned and cubed

1 tsp. / salt

1 cup / heavy cream

1 / diced jalapeno

DIRECTIONS

Boil potatoes until they become mushy. Meanwhile, melt butter in a saucepan. Add brown sugar and simmer for two minutes. Next, add potatoes and salt, mashing the mixture in the pan. Stir in cream and continue to mash. If necessary, place mixture in processor or blender and puree thoroughly.

Bountifully grease cupcake tin with butter. Line the circumference of each compartment with a slice of prosciutto. If you have extra prosciutto, you can also line the bottom of each compartment, though this is not strictly necessary.

With your hands, thoroughly combine the pork and beef with the eggs and milk in a large mixing bowl. Gradually fold in panko, basil, garlic and onion. Ideally, these ingredients should be evenly distributed throughout the loaf.

Ball the loaf into cupcake-sized segments. Break your bleu cheese into nuggets about the size of gumballs. Bury a morsel of cheese in the center of each miniloaf. Place cakes in pan compartments. The listed amounts should yield between 26-30 cupcakes. Bake trays at 350 for 35 minutes, or until the juices run clear.

The prosciutto lining and miniloaves should fuse while baking, but remove each cake from the pan carefully. Using a pastry bag -- if you're careful, a knife can suffice -- top each cake with generous swirls of your candied puree. Garnish each cake with a few bits of finely chopped jalapeno.

You now have a delectable batch of prosciutto-wrapped meatloaf cupcakes, each with a cheesy center and topped with candied sweet potato frosting and jalapeno sprinkles. Hail Satan!

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Sarina Liri is an Avondale-based personal trainer, failed restaurateur and avid meatloaf enthusiast. She dreams of returning to school for a degree in hospitality management. She posts anonymous LostBuffy fanfiction all over the internets. and