This is our 25th Writing Assignment! Can y'all believe it?! Neither can we! Yet, over the course of 24 previous assignments, we've received exactly one response. Timothy Charles Baker, you are an example for everyone.
Step up your game, people. This shit (most of the time) isn't really that hard.
Okay. For today, imagine yourself as mentally disturbed and struggling through painful cognitive-behavioral therapy. You believe that you've been married to former pop singer Debbie Gibson or roots rocker John Cougar Mellencamp (depending on your orientation) for 25 years.
As part of your therapy, your doctors instruct you, on this day, your 25th anniversary with Debbie or John, to write her or him a letter declaring that it needs to end in order for you to regain your sanity.
Be delicate. You're dissolving a quarter decade of bliss.
Send it to firstname.lastname@example.org
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