DEADLINE FOR ISSUE IV SUBMISSIONS IS TOMORROW

We've received a fantastic crop of submissions, but we're always eager for more, so please submit your.........

FICTION | POETRY | ESSAYS | RECIPES | LYRICS | INTERVIEWS | TRAVELOGUES | SCREEDS | MANIFESTOS | JOKES | TRANSLATIONS | PLAYS | HISTORIES | COMICS | JOURNALISM | HOW-TO'S | TREATISES | TRACTS | MONOGRAPHS | AUTOMATIC WRITING | LISTS | THEOREMS | SHEET MUSIC | PROFILES | JOURNALS | CRITICISM | SCREENPLAYS | PROOFS | OP-ED'S | EXPERIMENTS | LOVE LETTERS | PRAYERS | GAMES | CORRESPONDENCE | CREEDS | DECLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS |

..................for our next issue. The deadline is tomorrow, September 30th.

We're also looking for artwork!

Please submit. We all owe it to ourselves.

Thanks,

The Editors

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #21

For today, write a letter to the family members of the liquor store owner whom you murdered in the early 1990's. Now that you've been locked up for about 20 years (of a life sentence), it's time to reach out to your victims and express your thoughts on the crime.

Fill in whatever details you like, but be specific. Don't hold anything back. Pretend it's your only chance to contact them.

Send it to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #20

For today, rewrite the lyrics to a popular American song (your choice) so that they explain the appeal of Glenn Beck.

Send to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #19

For today, let's pretend that we're inhabiting a future earth that, due to some gravitational disturbance, has a 13-month calendar year.

Your mission is to create an astrological sign for this 13th month, with a complete list of attributes and pairings with other signs and whatever else is important to have in a viable symbol like that.

For inspiration, check out Harvey Sid Fisher's Astrology Songs.

Send it to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #18

For today, turn the following passage into an anagram:

"McMahan’s analysis, if examined carefully and closely, may well have merit. But only a few percent of society has the thinking ability to look closely at philosophical questions."

You can delete up to 12 letters if need be, but the fewer you delete, the more greatly you will be rewarded. An anagram is a rearrangement of letters to produce an entirely different word/phrase/sentence/poem.

Send your anagram to: loganliterary@gmail.com

As an example:

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #17

For today, write a tragic one-act play incorporating the following elements:

- A 19th Century setting
- Eight sisters
- A hand mirror that reveals how one's face will appear in exactly 32 months.
- An eavesdropping stable boy
- A gently used chamber pot
- A coarsely used chamber pot
- A stunning revelation
- Kepler's laws of planetary motion

Send it to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #16

For today, pretend you are the estranged parent of an 11-year old child. This child is of the same sex as you, but lives with your former partner (who is of the opposite sex [sorry for the heteronormativity, but it's required for the exercise to work]). Distance prevents you from seeing the child regularly, but the relationship is generally warm, though not without its awkwardness.

The distance has the somewhat paradoxical effect of leading the child to trust you with the questions he/she has with regards to sexuality. Specifically, the child has recently been hearing about masturbation on the school bus from an untrustworthy source. Wikipedia explains the act clinically, but the child needs to hear from a parent what kind of social and moral implications this thing has. The child feels embarrassed broaching the subject with their opposite-sex parent, and, lacking mentors or helpful relatives, reaches out to you for guidance.

Basically, write your child a heartfelt letter in which you tell them what they need to know about this crucial experience.

Send the letter to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #15

For today, vividly describe your own scent (as it is after 30 hours without bathing) using over 250 words. Please use complete sentences.

Send it to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #14

For today, write an open letter to Vicente Carrillo Fuentes, the current head of Mexico's Juarez Drug Cartel. He has directly or indirectly been involved in over 1,000 deaths and is still at large.

Send it to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #13

For today, list the material items that you're comfortable possessing in amounts greater than 100. Make sure to list items that barely missed the cut as well.

For example: Books, DVDs, Shoes, Pez Dispensers, Family Photos, Beers, Pints of Ice Cream, etc.

Send your list to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #12

For today, craft a haiku about the final moments of your most recent failed relationship.

Quick Reminder: A haiku (as written by Western elementary students) is a poem of three lines, the first and last containing five syllables, the middle containing seven.

Send it to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #11

For today, write a sight-unseen, 150-word capsule review for Randall Brannis' new novel "Moneyed Worship."

Send it to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #10

Let’s imagine ourselves at a gala publishing event in 45 years. The soiree is being held in honor of “Miles and Miles: The Miley Cyrus Story,” which is former teen pop/movie star and current Defense Secretary Miley Cyrus’ eagerly-anticipated autobiography. Easily the publishing event of the year, insofar as print publishing still exists in 45 years.

The events of September 4, 2010 occur on page 213 of this 678 page book.

For today, send the contents of page 581 and 582 to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #9

For today, carefully name each member of this family and describe the occasion that led to this photo.

Send your findings to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #8

A word-game/thought-experiment classic:

Scientists identify an advanced race of alien beings on a distant planet. They are unaware of our existence, and seem to have developed both similarly destructive weaponry and significant milestones of art and thought. Basically, they’re close to us in many respects, but there are many question marks.

In less than 200 words, introduce the human race to these beings.

Send your message to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #7

Complete the following question from an AP Civics course:

32) Between 1980 and 1999, several _____________________________________. Who/What was ________________________________?

a) “Ah, but she’s pure brick and hate, Clifton. Ain’t another type of surgery that’ll put Dolores back together.”

b) Bernard Trummler, chief fundraiser for Bob Dole’s failed Presidential campaign.

c) British Knights Sneakers.

d) Boise-based grungers Strained Stool.

e) The continued deregulation of advertising aimed at children.

….Send us a version of the question that somehow justified this group of answers: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #6

Put your pen where your mouth is:

Write a carefully worded, logically sound law that you’d want to see enacted by Chicago’s legislature. Make the city better; be wary of loopholes.

Submit your bill to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #5

Pretend you’ve been given a say in the matter and write to us with a detailed description of how you’d want to die.

Send your death wish to: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #4

For today, create your own Catholic Saint. Give this canonized individual a holiday, a name, a patronage, special powers, a grand history and/or a series of idiosyncrasies. Make sure he/she is worthy of extreme veneration by millions of Catholics worldwide.

Send us your saint: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #3

For a minute, let’s try to forget 40+ years of sheer iconography.

Despite being the greatest of all rock bands, The Beatles have, upon close scrutiny, one of the worst/lamest names in the annals of popular music. We don’t dig the pun.

The Rolling Stones, The Who, The Clash, Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath may all fall short of the Fab Four’s musical accomplishments and lasting influence, but their names manage to communicate the very essence of rock ‘n roll. In comparison “The Beatles” is kinda just….. dumb.

For today, play revisionist historian and give the greatest of all rock band a name befitting their genius and influence.

Rename the The Beatles, and send us the result: loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #2

In his recent self-help bestseller Being Ready, Roy Munteen, M.D. describes “The Three Steps of the Tiger.” The “Tiger” is, near as we can tell, a shifty new-age metaphor for some sort of vague assertiveness and/or confidence that will ultimately get you laid, land you a better job or a fatter paycheck, a nicer smile and the respect of your underlings.

We’re asking you to come up with a new Step 2:

Step 1: Find the Tiger

Step 2: ________________________ the Tiger.

Step 3: Unleash the Tiger

Send us your Step 2: loganliterary@gmail.com and see it published here.

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #1

In the tradition of French Journalist/Anarchist Felix Feneon, create a “novel in three lines.”

Then….. send it to Loganliterary@gmail.com