WRITING ASSIGNMENT #47

For today, consider the following group of words, which are listed consecutively on page 1,810 of Webster's New Universal Unabridged Dictionary (Random House, 1996):

- soapy

- soar

- Soares

- soaring

- soave

- sob

- S.O.B.

- sobeit

- sober

- sober-headed

- suberize

Now, WITHOUT consulting a single reference source, craft a thoughtful definition for each word. Please use only your mind, we're not grading for accuracy.

Send it to: loganliterary@gmail.com

PRESENTING THE LSLR READY-MADE INTERVIEW

[We hope that this project will become a standard feature on the blog and readers will regularly contribute interviews conducted according to these guidelines.]

Instructions [to be followed carefully]: Choose a cooperative person in your life. Present each of the following questions/prompts to your subject without elaboration. Record the full extent of their response. Upon completion, preface the interview with as much biographical detail (name/age/occupation/etc.) as your subject desires.

Send it to loganliterary@gmail.com.

• When and why did you come to Chicago?
  
• At what age did you first fall in love?
  
• What do you read for pleasure?
  
• Name your most essential "only in Chicago" moment/place/person/phenomenon
  
• Are there secrets you have yet to share with another person?
  
• What has been your biggest regret?
  
• Where do you get your news?
  
• What, if any, electronic device would you subtract from modern life?
  
• Would you want to live in an alternate world in which both men and women could naturally bear children?
  
• Describe your single most profound moment of creative inspiration.
  
• Is there anything else you would like to add?
  

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #46

For today, in honor of Georges Perec write a short story about the most important object in your life without using any words that contain the letter "e".

If you feel compelled to whine about the assignment's difficulty, remember that Perec composed an entire book using this strategy. Check it out.

We don't have anything against the letter, but it is the most-used in the English language.

Send your story to loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #45

For today, sketch a brief autobiography -- written in the second person -- detailing as many or as few years as you'd like.

Isolate your most influential decisions in your narrative and reimagine the story, using these choices as pivot points in a choose-your-own-adventure story.

We imagine that you are all familiar with the genre, but just in case:

At decisive moments within your narrative, the reader will be given two or more optional paths to follow. If they choose Option 1, they turn to page X. If they choose Option 2 (or 3, 4, whatever), they turn to page Y. The pages will dole out the alternate consequences of each respective choice and continue the narrative along a new, unique route.

An example:

You thank Jeremy for listening after you describe how awful and exhausting it was having to commit your sister Meredith and first-cousin Becky on the same day to two institutions fifteen miles apart. You tell him that you love him a totally hetero way. He pauses and looks down. In this moment, you dwell in the profound, quiet comfort of being understood. No more words are necessary. You put your cigarette out in Mrs. Cofield's long-dead potted plant and resettle into your fraying lawn chair. Jeremy turns to you and, in what seems like mere fractions of a second, leans in to kiss you.

In response, you.....

1) ....reluctantly accept a brief kiss with no tongue and terminate the friendship slowly over the next two weeks. Page 345.
2) ...passionately explore the kiss, and fall into the sublime tailspin of an intense affair. Page 190.
3) ...refuse the gesture outright and utter a litany of homophobic slurs. Page 64.
4) ...start coughing and excuse yourself to the bathroom. Page 32.
5) ...politely inform him that he must have misunderstood and that you don't share his feelings, but, even so, you're still BFFs. Page 2

..... and then you write corresponding results for each of the choices.

Sounds fun, right?!

While we don't consider ourselves qualified to tell you how to write, we will suggest that imagining options far outside of your perceived comfort zone might yield the best results.

Send your multitude of potential lives to loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #44

For today, completely forget every bit of historical or religious background concerning Christmas. Everything: Jesus, Germanic paganism, fourth century Greek saints, Saturnalia, and all the rest. Forget it all.

But let's preserve the exhibition. Keep in your mind the tree, the lights, the jolly fat guy with presents, the wrapping paper, the cards, the stockings, the calendar date, the mistletoe, the nog, the red and green everything, the candy canes, and anything else that comes to mind.

Now, your job is to come up with a Definitive Grand Unified Story of Christmas. All the details, from the red and green lights to the jolly fat guy and the egg nog should be folded into one completely original story, set wherever and whenever you'd like -- but give Western civilization enough time to adopt the celebration in a natural manner. Make it magical, make it sensible, or combine the two. We don't care. Try to include as many elements as you can without devolving into incoherence. Pull everything together into a happy holiday bow of explanation. Your Christmas gift to humankind will be a fresh start regarding the historiographical confusion and philosophical apprehension surrounding "the most wonderful time of the year". Get at it.

Send it to loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #43

For today, indulge us as we try to class the joint up a bit.

First, devote your entire attention to this heartwrenching aria from Mozart's The Marriage of Figaro:






Next, write suitable words to accompany the scene. Suit your words to the facial expressions and gesticulations of Dame Kiri Te Kanawa. The lone stipulation: assume she is not singing about romance.

Essentially, you need to create a string of words that is somehow worthy of consideration alongside the music of Mozart.

You're good enough for this.

Do it.

Send it to loganliterary@gmail.com

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #42

For today, write a brief dialogue piece (little to no action cues, please) concerning a lovers' quarrel. Some household appliance provoked the dispute, which escalates to brutal violence. All other details are yours to decide.

Now separate the comments of each character (you'll need to remember which is which, so labeling them in some fashion will be helpful). Now, take the dialogue for Character #1 and feed it, line by line, into an internet translator. Convert it into a non-Western language. Choose a different internet translator (they are legion) and different non-Western language for the dialogue of Character #2.

Next, convert Character #1's dialogue back into English using yet another translator. Do the same for Character #2.

Finally, use these new strands of dialogue to reconstitute the sequence of the original piece. Lastly, take a moment to recognize how impossible the task would have been without the internet.

Send it to loganliterary@gmail.com